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When the Saints Win….

The birds sing a sweet, melodious tune as I awaken to another blessed day.

When the Saints Lose…

Why the f*ck do I have to get out of bed this morning?! And would somebody shoot those loud ass birds?!

When the Saints Win…

Oops, I just stepped in juicy dog turds…oh what a glorious morn!

When the Saints Lose…

Get me a bucket of water and plug in the curling iron. I’m about to “Vick” the neighbor’s poodle.

When the Saints Win…

Oh what sir, you want to merge in front of me at the last minute even though you knew the lane was about to run out? Well be my guest…and have a great day!

When the Saints Lose…

Don’t even think about it asshole! (HONK!! HONK!!)

When the Saints Win…

Sure I can work through lunch. And do you need me to stay a little later this evening too?

When the Saints Lose…

I wish a mutha f*cka would ask me to give up my damn lunch. Who do these people think they are? I HAVE A LIFE!

When the Saints Win…

I love Sean Payton…and Drew Brees…and Reggie…and Fred Thomas, and Tom Benson too.

When the Saints Lose…

Oh would they just sell the damn team to L.A. already.

WAIT WAIT, I didn’t mean it!!!! Please don’t sell my boys!! I beg of you Tom! I’m just hurt and angry and saying things I shouldn’t say. Don’t hold it against me, okay?

When the Saints Win…

I know you’ve got a few more items in your grocery kart than me, but you can still skip ahead. Hey, I’m in no hurry.

When the Saints Lose…

Can you read bitch? It says TWELVE items or less.

Bless you boys, for keeping my cup half-full for the past three weeks…

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