NFL Week 11 Power Rankings: Brought to you by Dave Matthews Band

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=oQ_Nf7yGxbc] 

It’s time to keep it real.  I’m a black chick who went to a mostly white high school where I found it comfortable to embace not only grunge music but the rock music my older sister let me sneak a listen to under the cover of night.  I came to know Def Leopard, Guns N Roses and Twisted Sister under her influence… and God bless her for it.  Were it not for her, I may have never been turned on to the likes of Dave Matthews Band, one of my all-time favorite artists, EVER!  

What’s so funny about them is that Dave is white (South African to be exact) and most of the band is black, but it’s still considered “white” music.  Go figure. And don’t get me wrong, I still like old school Cash Money Records and I can do the Soulja Boy on beat and I say “Ya Heard Me” when necessary, but I still love my DMB.

So what does all of this have to do with this week’s power rankings you ask?  Um, hello?  Ever heard of a song called “Crash into me”?  That’s what I feel like the Saints are doing…crashing into me.  Except, not in the sexual way that Dave meant.  More of a “planes into U.S. landmarks” sense, except more politcally correct.

Below are this week’s power rankings, as told by a bitter Nola Chick.

1. Patriots: Ugh!

2. Green Bay: Fine.

3. Cowboys : Hated it!

4. Colts: Who are you?

5. Giants: Die!

6. Jacksonville: Whatever!

7. Steelers: Who gives a F*#!

8. Bucs: As God as my witness, you will not win this division!

9. Browns: So what!

10. Titans: Way to not have a defense.  

16. Eagles: Will Feely be your Garcia?  

21. Saints: I can’t deal with you right now.  No seriously, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.  No, I’m not kidding.  And yes, I did put my face cream on to turn you off.  And yes, I stopped wearing deodorant too.  No, I’m not seeing that guy from work, but even if I were, you deserve it.  I’m sick of being the only one who cares about this relationship.  If we don’t get help soon, I’m calling my lawyer.  And I swear if your ass doesn’t win this weekend, you’ll rue the day you didn’t make me sign that prenup!

 Click here for a list of teams not worthy of our time.

3 Responses to “NFL Week 11 Power Rankings: Brought to you by Dave Matthews Band”

  1. Happy Thanksgiving! I got nothing.

  2. that’s all we needed. ditto!

  3. The Bucs are 8th?!?!? No frickin way.

    Had your reverse experience, which leaves my white, Long Island bred husband wondering why I MUST crank up the radio and teach our 4-yr-old half the lyrics to Gold Digger when it comes on. Which leaves me to wonder, if we could give the Saints gold digging lessons, would they be higher up in the rankings? If we snuggle up and make sweet-eyes at the Colts, (and somehow manage NOT to gag) would that get us some power ranking love?

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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