The NFL Week 16 Power Rankings: Brought to you by Ralphie

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It’s Christmas, which means it’s okay not to post because no one’s online anyways… unless of course they’re alone or their family doesn’t love them, in which case, aw…you poor, sweet baby. But since we’ve been watching a marathon of a Christmas Story and going shot for shot on every “You’ll shoot your eye out” reference…I find myself suddenly motivated to stick to my weekly routine. Besides, “shooting my eye out” sounded like the perfect remedy for last Sunday’s Saints game.

Below are this week’s power rankings:

1) So now it’s up to the Giants to stop you? Put the champagne back in the cellar ’72 Dolphins: That sweatshirt wearing Grinch is about to steal our Christmas.

2) Colts: Sit em Dungy. We need your team well rested for the postseason.

3) Cowboys: Start em! Start em! Kick some Redskins tail!!! (Having to cheer for the Cowboys makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit…or is that the egg nog???)

4) Jaguars: One of the better records in the league and you still go in as a 5th seed. Man I’m glad we’re not in the AFC.

5) Packers: Um, get a new punter.

6) Chargers: Play like Norv Turner’s job depends on it!

7) Steelers: Why? Because hating you is easy, that’s why.

8 ) Seahawks: What a waste of a playoff spot.

9) Bucs: Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!

10) Giants: See above.

15) Saints: Unlike Sunday’s game in the Dome, let’s be sure we invite our defense to Chicago. And by the way Santa, I see you’ve ignored my request for a Secondary this year. Do it in ‘08, and I’ll make a request for Rudolph to kick you in your Jingle Bells.

Click here for a list of team’s not worthy of our time…and Feliz Navidad!

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