The Real Slim Shady Opens Up
Oh Bill Belichick, where oh where do your lies end and your utter b.s. begin? The coach of the Pats is finally speaking up about the latest cheating accusations being tossed in his face. Billy boy denies ever telling anyone to tape the St. Louis Rams’ walkthrough before the 2002 Super Bowl. His statement is in response to accusations by former Pats’ employee Matt Walsh, who claims he taped St. Louis’ walkthrough practice the day before the game.
Belicheat, like a desperate deadbeat on a “Who’s the Daddy” episode of Maury, responds to the accusations by saying he “couldn’t pick Walsh out of lineup.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we bet you never touched Walsh either. We bet Walsh was hooking up with three or four other NFL coaches at the time, so how do we know for sure that his tape is your tape. (Cut to shot of Maury audience boo-ing Belichick as they put up a split screen of the confiscated tape and Belichick’s picture to show the similarities.)
It’s days like these we miss Johnny Cochran most. We can’t help but speculate as to how he would help Slick Billy worm his way out of Spy-Gate. “If it doesn’t rewind, he can’t face a fine!” “If he doesn’t recall, he can’t take the fall!” “If the sweatshirt’s musty and gray, his team still gets to play.”
What we really want to know is, what is Roger Goodell’s next step? He made the shocking call to destroy the Spy-gate (by the way we hate that word) tapes from the 2007 and 2006 seasons. He’s the one who also had notes on the investigation destroyed, only to later say it was to “protect the integrity of the game.” He’s the one in deep doo-doo with Congress if he doesn’t at least give off the appearance he’s getting tough with the Patriots. One way or another, it seems like there are some sad days ahead in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood.
Our only source of comfort at this point, the Pats path to perfection went south. 18-1 never felt so good for a Patriot hater.
Source: http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7811508/Belichick-denies-taping-Rams-before-Super-Bowl?MSNHPHMA
Filed under: Die Patriots Die, Scandals and Liars Oh My
Have I told you lately that you are a brilliant wordsmith, and I love you? Snort. This was hilarious.
Not sure when you told me last, but I REALLY needed to hear it now. Thanks sista!…(make that seester…)