Those of us who enjoy players like Troy Polamalu making football games feel more like Pantene commercials better look for another way to get our jollies. NFL owners are meeting this week to discuss, among several rule changes, a ban on exposed hair.  If the new rule is approved, those lovely lady locks would have to be tucked away under a player’s helmet. 

All we can say is thank goodness Steve Gleason retired before this one saw the light of day. 

Other proposed rule changes are not quite as “hairy”, such as letting wild-card teams with better records than a division leader get home-field advantage.  There’s also a proposal to prevent the Browns v Ravens nail-biter of last season and allow instant replays on field goals.

While all these proposals are adorable, we think they barely scratch the surface of what the NFL should be doing to change and improve the game.  The chicks offer our own proposed rules for a better game watching experience…after the jump!   

Proposal #1: For every gratuitous boob shot of a cheerleader, we demand a close up of Tom Brady licking his lips, 5 seconds of T.O. running around in spandex, or Reggie Bush shirtless.  

Proposal #2: No more penalties for touchdown celebrations.  It’s not unsportsmanlike for a fullback to act like he’s boiling water in the end zone while his wide receiver pretends to give birth to a football.  In fact, that’s a little something we’d like to call awesome. 

Proposal #3:  No more trying to freeze out the kicker.  If you can’t call your time out before the linemen are set, you don’t get to call a time out at all.  Conniving bastards. 

Proposal #4: Give the NFL back to the fans.  I shouldn’t have to work for Nike, Coke, American Express, or Sprint to get a chance to see my team play in the Super Bowl, or get a good seat at a home game, or maybe even a luxury box for me and my family.  Additionally, going to a game shouldn’t require the average family to have to take out a second mortgage on a home.  This corporate crap sickens us! 

Proposal #5: Referees who get in the way during a play should be subjected to a punch in the jaw by three assistant coaches from the affected team. 

Proposal #6: Instant replay should be allowed for certain penalties.  I’m so sick of teams getting away with false pass interference calls or even worse: the dreaded no-call.  Let’s replay that sucker and get it right.

We’ll keep working on our list.  We’re almost sure we’ve forgotten something.  Meanwhile, if you want to review some of the official and more boring rule change proposals click here for a link to the NFL’s website.