While surfing the internets, I stumbled upon a post tailor-made to give us Saints fans something to talk about (aka mock) during these slow summer days. It was a post entitled “Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Saints” and it was displayed on a Panthers fan website called Cat Crave. My curiosity got the best of me and I took a few minutes to peruse this poorly compiled list of trash talk against my beloved team and city. While the reasons outlined in the post ranged from outrageous to lame, and admittedly at times a little funny, I still couldn’t help but serve up some revenge, Chicks style.
Presenting: The Top Ten Reasons to Hate the Panthers
10. Uniforms! Baby blue and silver? I’m sorry, is that a football jersey or a wizard’s costume?
(Trick question. The answer is actually hidden option 3, the color scheme of a pre-op drag queen’s long sequin coat when he/she takes the stage for his/her big number. Work it sistas!)
9. Your mascot’s name is “Sir Purr.” Not to stick with the gay theme, but c’mon. How gay is that?
8. The “Who Gives a Shit” factor. It’s a sad, sad day when your most recognizable player is a quarterback who’s as old as your coach.
7. Skanky cheerleaders. Who could forget the classic case of the classy TopCats cheerleaders who got accused of bumping beavers in a bathroom stall and beating up a security guard? And we thought those drunken fans with whiskers painted on their faces took their love for pussy too far. Sheesh!
6. Sloppy seconds. First Sam Mills, then Jake Delhomme. Your team is like the dude who goes after the hot chick, only after she’s been banged by the stud from a rival school and dropped like a hot rock.
5. Your cheerleading roster is a virtual “Who’s Who?” of butter-faces. We won’t call out names because that would be mean. But we will provide you with the link to check them out for yourselves. (Paper bag needed to place over their heads for sexual fantasies not included.)
4. You actually started David Carr. Nuff Said. Actually, not nuff said. Allow me to point and laugh at you for a moment…
3. On a list of reasons why your fans hate the Saints, the murder rate in New Orleans shows up. Seriously, you can’t find 10 even mildly football/team related reasons to hate a division rival? But now that you’ve opened the door for attacking a rival team’s city…isn’t it funny that even with the high murder rate and being in recovery mode from a major natural disaster, we still attract more tourists in a year than Charlotte does in a decade? How shocking! I mean, who wouldn’t want to come to Charlotte to check out the er…um, uh…Well, I’m sure you have like a botanical garden or something…right?
2. Only the Panthers could boast a roster with the likes of Julius Peppers, Steve Smith, KeyShawn Johnson, and John Kasay and still not make the playoffs in 2006. You sirs (make that “sirs purrs”) are the masters of suckery.
1. The most memorable thing about your Super Bowl appearance was the .05 seconds when we saw Janet Jackson’s nipple.
(And that my friends, is how you do a top ten.)
Check out Nola Chick's Super Bowl Experience, courtesy of 
hey nolachick…not enough balls to join me on my turf? How many years have the Saints been a team? You have less to show for it then the Panthers in their very short history. God, you guys traded away an entire draft for friggin’ RICKY WILLIAMS…. talk about people in glass houses! LOL
You keep trying to compare apples to oranges (if you actually know what that means). Once again, How many years have the Saints existed? If you don’t know your team’s history, please refer to Wikepedia. Personally, I like the following tidbit:
The Saints were founded in 1967, as an expansion team. They went more than a decade before they managed to finish a season with a .500 record and two decades before having a winning season. The team’s first successful years were from 1987-1992, when the team made the playoffs four times and had winning records in the non-playoff seasons.”
The Panthers played their first game in 1995 and ended with a 7-9 record. In 1996, we won the NFC WEST (where we began) and went to the NFCCG.
In over 40 years of existence, you can barely come close to our accomplishments in 13 years! You know it, I know it, the NFL knows it. Nice try.
As for the tourism…give me the rich bankers over the Bourbon St drunks anyday. But nice try there, too.
Again, hoping you’ll meet us on our turf. Try it…you might find that you like it.
sweet carol, unlike the tranny cheerleaders on your topcats squad, i can assure you that you’re correct in assuming there are no balls under this chick’s skirt. i find it laughable that you think intimidation has kept me from your site and it’s even more adorable that you’re so taken by me that you can’t wait even a few hours for me to stop by. (is this what they mean by a girl crush?) and allow me to reiterate that the nfl HANDED you extra draft picks and a solid roster of players at the inception of your team. you didn’t build anything from the ground up. you were born with the nfl equivalent of a silver spoon. feel free to wave that flag high if you’d like. to each his own…
and yes, please take your rich bankers. i love my bourbon street drunks, also known as the hollywood celebrities, lawyers, doctors, businessmen, etc. who frequent the city annually for conventions, events, and to simply soak in its rich culture. their money is green and they’re loads of fun…so keep em coming!! oh..and it’s always nice to be one gamy shy of the record for hosting the super bowl. how many has nc hosted again???
now please simmer down..i’ll be on your little site soon enough.
@weaponx: my five readers and i took a vote and concluded that with the exception of # 6, your “witty” and (at times grammatically incorrect) retort was pretty much a waste of blog space. but good to see i can add you to my growing fan club of kitty cats!
I won’t adress your earlier absurdity so I’ll get right to the point.
1) Maybe we were handed something in the beginning, but so are all expansion teams now. The difference is that we were smart enough to use it properly.
2) You’ve been around since ‘67 and still can’t get it right.
3) We’d love to host a SB and have applied to the NFL. Unfortunately, we have an outdoor stadium and the NFL considers this a cold climate. Until the NFL changes it’s rules about the SB only being in domes or warm weather cities, we will have to do without as will other cold weather cities with outdoor stadiums. But nothing says football like an outdoor stadium in the winter so you can keep your dome. I’ll take Bank of America Stadium and Charlotte, NC any day of the week. Charlotte’s the place people want to live. NOLA is simply a place to visit to get away from the real world for a few days.
lol! spoken like a girl who’s only been to nola to flash her tatas for beads.
and i think the pants shouldn’t consider themselves ‘getting it right’ until they’ve…oh i don’t know…actually won a super bowl ring. but nice try honey!
still the saints have not won a superbowl ring either they been around a lot longer
oh I forgot the saints have never been to the superbowl. they always watch them on tv
Nolachick,
Only a couple of my list items were supposed to be funny, the rest was intended to be thought provoking . My apologies for any distress it may have caused.
weaponx: it’s the rest “were”…not the rest “was.” I’m hoping this provokes you to think about your grammar a little more before trying to lay the smack down.
so sad! lmao!!!!
@ saltnpeppers: i say until either team gets a ring…they’re just about even. besides….i’m definitely more interested in what happens this year. check out my homeboy’s breakdown. i’d like to think of it as a crystal ball into the panthers’ future!
http://www.moosedenied.com/2008-nfc-south-preview-part-2-carolina-panthers/
I’d just like to say that a Saints fan talking smack about any other franchise is laughable…at best.
Saints have been around since 1967 and have what, 3 seasons worth mentioning?
ZERO SB Championships
ZERO Conference Championship
A Franchise LOSING percentage a .591
Only 6 seasons (out of 30) in the post season
2 winning seasons out of the last 15
You really think you should have anything to say to anyone else? Perhaps you should talk to go the teams with lower winning percentages than the Aints…all THREE of them and no, the Panthers aren’t among them.
We can compare the Panthers 6 franchise post season wins to the Saints 2, if you like?
How about the Panthers holding the edge in head to head games? 14-12
I also find it humorous that you critisize someone’s grammar right before failing to capitalize most of the appropriate letters in your little diatribe.
Pot…meet Kettle.
and i find it downright ‘cry my eyes out,’ hilarious that in your effort to “critisize” me, you misspelled “criticize.” wtf!!
as for your other points…boring, been there done that. (a reminder that the Panthers also lack a sb championship, so probably not something you want to rub in anyone’s face.) bottom line is that your team has a short, spoiled little rich kid history. you haven’t done anything in the past that would make you worthy of any kind of legendary status, and i’ll be the first to admit that neither have the saints. so are saints fans in a position to defend themselves against a team with a fairly comparable degree of mediocrity in recent history? hell yeah! get real you silly kitties!
Well, looks like this one is nearly over. Chickko can’t even defend her mostly unfunny list or her team with anything greater than grammar police antics.
A summary of reasons you probably really hate the Panthers.
Carolina leads the all time series.
Carolina has a Conference championship.
Carolina has appeared in more conference championship games.
I’m sure these truths wound your inner child.
Oh don’t worry. Just knowing that I’ve not only gotten under your skin but that you’ve exerted so much energy in an effort to refute my “unfunny” list is all the comfort I need…
(And don’t worry, I wouldn’t expect a Carolinian to understand the importance of respecting the rules of the English language.)
Tootles!
There’s a difference is not winning the Super Bowl in 13 years of existence and not playing in one during your entire franchise’s pitiful history.
I doubt it has any impact on her inner child, the denial obviously runs deep…as it does with most Aints fans.
Your flash in the pan that was 2006 is over, you may now seep back into the depths of the NFL gutter where you’ve spent the vast majority of your time.
While I realize that you may believe that my awesome retorts require an inordinate amount of energy, that is not the case.
ohhh….so now who’s making excuses? “we’ve only had 13 years to win a ring” (despite the nfl’s best efforts to buy us one.) “how could we possibly have accomplished such a feat? boo hoo!” your lameness is truly the cherry on top of my sundae! sorry dude…but no ring=no ring. i don’t make the rules!
and to weapon guy: a) i congratulate you on getting out back-to-back error free retorts. (looks like my grammar lessons are paying off!) b) admit it…you put just a teeny bit of energy into spell-checking “inordinate.” (don’t worry, nola chick won’t tell!) now admit it fellas…you’re crushing on me just a little bit, huh?
NFL’s best effort to buy us one?
WTF? You mean the Super Bowl we lost in the last couple seconds while the Pats were cheating? Seems you’re confused, must me something in the crawfish.
2004 report shows NC as the 25th ranked state school system in the US compared to Louisianna at 46. Just because you didn’t learn to spell 4 syllable words until you 3rd freshmen year you shouldn’t assume we weren’t WAY ahead in the little things…such as education.
Point remains that the Panthers have accomplished more with far less opportunities. To date you’re the 4th worst team in the NFL since the league started.
Please, continue to talk smack, it’s entertaining.
omg!! You’ve not only resorted to looking up school system rankings but you misspelled Louisiana in your attempt to prove that people from NC are “smarter”! It’s like you’re just spoon feeding me excuses to call you dumb.. lol!!
As for the buying thing, I think we’ve gone through this enough times, short bus. Refer to the previous posts!
And don’t worry, the real entertainment will be when we post these responses in the Saints forums. They’re always in the mood for a good laugh!
An occassional typo is a bit different that your chronic inability comprehend simple truths, further exasperated by your highly hypocritical practice of critiquing other people’s grammar short comings, given your penchant for not capitalizing appropriate letters.
None of this surprises me seeing as you pick what you want from various posts and can’t seem to grasp the rather elementary points that have not only been brought up, but proven statistically.
No doubt you’re enjoy your blogs limited time in the sun, if you act fast maybe you can get some ad revenue pooring in. With the abundance of crime in your area I’m sure you could land a trial attorney or two, strike while the iron is hot- you’re soon to be irrelevant again.
well, i find a stark difference between writing informally versus simply not knowing how to spell or proper grammar. but we can agree to disagree on that. besides, i just love knowing that from here on out, you’re spell checking everything in a Word document before you post it. i mean it truly gives me a giggle down to my very core.
and i wouldn’t say anything’s been proven statistically by any stretch of any sane person’s imagination. if anything, you’ve proven that these teams are a lot closer in terms of feats accomplished than some may have realized. was that your intent? if so, kudos!
yeah yeah, i’m poor, and i may get shot, or go to jail cause i live in new orleans….blah blah blah. typical fall back when you’ve been proven intellectually inferior.
as for my blog’s irrelevance….time will only tell i guess. but one thing’s for certain; i’ve sure got you cats under my spell!
sleep easy kitty…gotta go sling my crack!
Nolachick: You sell crack too? Fantastic. My kids’ dealer left our corner after the storm and we haven’t been able to find quality rocks since then. You mind turning lakeside on Canal Blvd. and heading out to the lake? You’ll find us amidst the flooded-out houses, squatting in an abandoned FEMA trailer, trying to get our highs on excessive levels of formaldehyde. (Oh, and if you want to make some extra change, we’re also looking for an English tutor for our uneducated, Louisiana born children. They’re not the smartest kids on the block, but they likes them some crack.)
I don’t need to check anything on Word. I find it strange that you find it nearly inconceivable for someone to have a well rounded vocabulary and know how to spell. Has living in Louisiana driven your expectations that low?
I hold a degree in business, write for a local paper and dable in several other ventures, while I’ll admit to using the spell check on occassion, such a blog doesn’t warrant such measures.
You have a long way to go to get under my skin, but you can think whatever you want.
you spelled “dabble” wrong..
trust me…use the spell check! lmao!!!
To go back to your earlier post NC, it’s “grammatical shortcomings.”
A business degree. Wow, that must have been tough on you. Sitting down to do fake expense reports between keg stands.
“Bro, you don’t even know, dude! I’ve got this awesome internship lined up with a consulting firm, and I don’t even have to worry cause I can still get money from dad’s auto dealership. So tight bro. So tight.”
Is that the right neighborhood? Also, writing with as many complicated words as you can dredge up from the last Dan Brown “novel” you read doesn’t make you look intelligent. In the blogging world, it just makes you look desperate.
One more thing: Dabbling in several other ventures? You sell Shaklee vitamins don’t you? It’s a scam, brother. A pyramid scheme. Call your relatives, apologize for pushing all that crap on them, and get out while you can. At least Nola doesn’t have to lie to herself about the crack dealing.
The only good thing I’ve ever experienced in NC was a Who’s Bad show and meals at Time Out.
And I have to reiterate my previous contention, good sir, that the Panthers’ uniforms are unduly reminiscent of the Arena Football League. Your fans are all soccer moms, because real sports fans in your state care about the Tar Heels or Duke, and little else.
So… Whadya think, Saints fans? Does this guy still live with his mother? I think yeah, and she probably gets more ass than him too.
you can’t see me monty, but believe me when I say I’m gingerly rising to my feet and giving you a “slow clap.”
I guess the real #1 reason to hate the Panthers is because they’re better right now.
true dat