Don’t you just love it when a division rival starts to fall apart before the season even starts? Apparently the heat has everyone all hot and bothered at Panthers training camp. Steve “Don’t Call Me a Thug” Smith and cornerback Ken Lucas got into a tussle (I love that word) during practice yesterday, causing the coaches to send Smith home with his tail between his legs. The scuffle apparently broke out on the sidelines, with Smith pounding his teammate (and not in the Jeff Garcia way) so badly that Lucas had to be carted off the field with an ice pack over his eyes. Me-ow!

While several players witnessed the fight, which apparently isn’t a first for these two bad boys, no one could say for certain how it all broke out. So, we’ve decided to offer up our own scenario. We’re sure it went more or less like this…

Lucas: Yo man, you heard Dan Qayle might be on Dancing with the Stars?
Smith: Man, that’s bull. They asked him before they asked Steve Smith. Oh HELL no! Steve Smith ain’t feeling that.
Lucas: You might have the moves on the field, but you can’t move like Jason Taylor or Emmit.
Smith: (Pauses and cocks his head to the side.) What you talkin’ bout Lucas?
Lucas: I’m just saying man. I don’t think you could hang.

(A man wearing mittens approaches carrying a foil pan)

David Carr: Guess who made Brownies!
Lucas: Back off Carr!
Smith: Oh, oh. So if Steve Smith can’t hang, why can Steve Smith still do this? (Proceeds to do the robot while beat-boxing.)
Lucas: Man, that move is whack.
Smith: Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. Now Carr, give me one of those damn brownies!
Lucas: I’m just saying. Maybe you can be on NBC’s Celebrity Circus. But “Dancing”…that’s just not your thing, man.
Smith: (Inhales brownie, rips off jersey with bare hands, leaps on Lucas, and pummels him unmercifully.)

The bad news for Smith, he got arrested and charged with misdemeanor assault. He’s also been suspended for two games. The good news, we now have more excuses to point and laugh at Panthers fans. The better news, we found images of the fight on youtube. Enjoy!