10. “Hmmm…something tells me I’m gonna need an oxygen tank.”

9. “I wanna hate him…but he’s just so darn cute!”

8. “Weee!!! It’s so much fun when he picks us up and carries us around!”

7. “Is it too late to be listed on IR?”

6. “Any chance coach will let me play offense for the rest of the game?”

5. “Damn…what the hell was he like when he had two good knees?”

4. “I wish Heidi Klum were here to ‘auf’ me…”

3. “Would it be easier on my ego if I just fell down and let him jump over me?”

2. “Too bad congress can’t rescue me with a bailout plan.”

1. “Wow, Reggie Bush is a lot smaller in person. Oh wait…that’s just Deuce’s right thigh…”