This week, I had a hard time coming up with my recipe. What exactly is Minnesota cuisine? Would anyone want to eat Minnesota cuisine? Being a pretentious New Orleans food snob, Mother Hen decided to google “Minnesota” and “cuisine,” for what would undoubtedly lead to a few laughs and possibly some inspiration. Finding neither and then reading about some foul-sounding, Minnesota-proud dish called Lutefisk, I opted for a New Orleans tradition, tried and true, just like our Dulymus: Red Beans and Sidney Rice.

After Rice gets boiled alive courtesy of our Chick Chow, we’ll count on our defense to take down Adrian Peterson and Bernard Berrian in one big gulp. That’s where the Purple People Eater comes in…

Red Beans and Sidney Rice

Ingredients:

1 lb.Camellia Red Kidneys
½ pound of tasso
1 ham shank
1 pound of andouille or green onion sausage sausage (optional)
8-10 cups water
¼ cup of green onions, chopped
2 toes of garlic, chopped
2 Tbs. celery, chopped
2 Tbs. parsley, chopped
1 large bay leaf
Salt and pepper to taste
1 stick of butter
Tobasco (optional)

Rinse and sort beans. Soak the beans for at least two to three hours, preferably overnight. Render the ham shank in a skillet. Remove meat and place on side. Sauté in fat in skillet, onion, garlic, parsley and celery. Add these with tasso, shank, bay leaf, salt and pepper to beans. Boil gently, stirring occasionally for about 1 1/2. Then, let it simmer for about three to four hours. In the last hour of cooking, and, yes, I know that this is decadent, but it’s worth the rise in cholesterol, add one stick of butter. Add water while cooking if necessary.

Purple People Eater

1 oz Raspberry Schnapps

1 oz Absolut Vodka Raspberri

1/2 oz blue curacao

1/2 oz cranberry juice

Mix it over ice. Loudly slurp down the delicious purple mixture every time Lance Moore scores to remind the Vikes just how much they suck!