When your team looks as bad midseason against a division rival as the Saints looked Sunday in Atlanta, it’s hard to really pinpoint what’s at the root of their suckiness. Sure you could blame coach for not running the ball, or blame the defensive line for not getting any…ANY pressure on the rookie quarterback, or your offensive line for not giving its quarterback any…ANY time to throw the ball. Or…you could resist the urge to tie everything up in a nice, neat, rage-filled package and regurgitate to the Saints exactly what they served up to you: A buffet of crap.
The Hot (and Cold) Station:
Is it too much to ask for a little consistency from our offense? One week they put up 30+ points effortlessly and the next week, they struggle to get into double digits. One week we decide to run Deuce, the next week we decide to act like he doesn’t exist. Receivers catch the balls one Sunday and drop them like they’re hot the next. It’s getting old. Sickeningly old.
I know Sean Payton’s job is to help us win games. But since that seems too tall an order to fill at this juncture, can he just explain to me why Deuce only touched the ball 7 times…and that includes his two receptions There’s gotta be a method to the madness right? RIGHT?!!!
Maybe our Swiss cheese O-line had something to do with it. I mean Drew Brees looked like a lost frat boy caught wearing red near a Crips convention. He was running for his life! What happened to blocking 101…also known as hold your block for more than a nanosecond. Simply phucking pathetic!
(You should also note I lost a World Series bet that requires me to slip “ph”s in to replace “f”s wherever possible. Bear with me…)
The Carving Station:
Man did our defense look shitty. I mean Matt Ryan had enough time in the pocket to call his broker and rearrange stock options before passing the ball. We’ve got one of the highest paid sets of defensive ends and tackles in the league and we couldn’t muster up enough phront phour pizazz to rattle a rookie quarterback. Ryan and company picked us apart in the air. Michael Turner pounded us on the ground. (Hehe…“pounded us”)
We couldn’t stop the run. We couldn’t pressure the QB. And just to push the knife in a little deeper, Mike McKenzie suffers what will most likely be a season ending injury…a busted kneecap. I’m gonna need a Bloody Mary or something to wash this crap down.
The Punch Station:
Anybody else notice it looked like Drew Brees wanted to punch the grease out of Jeremy Shockey’s hair? I mean day-um! That sideline “meeting of the minds” seemed uber-intense. The official story is that Drew was compelled to rip Shockey a new one after he not only missed a crucial block in the 3rd quarter but made a half-ass effort to catch the ball. In a post-game news conference, here’s how Goldilocks summed it up, along with my personal interjections that I would have retorted back to him had I been at the news conference.
“I put that on me. (No shit Sherlock.) It’s just one little play, but it should never happen. (If by “little” you mean it had a major impact in our quest to mount a comeback in a must-win game against a division rival, then yes…”little” is a really appropriate word.) That was really about the only miscommunication. (Allow me to “communicate” that we pay you waaay to much money for this bullshit. Man the phuck up when it counts!)
Needless to say, Shockey ended up rotting pine shortly afterwards.
The Dessert Station:
Empty
The Blind Optimism Station
Alright, so let’s say this game is really, seriously, the last time the Saints decide to take a dump on us. And let’s say we beat everyone from here on out and the other teams in our division drop a couple here and there like we know they will. We can still make the playoffs at 11-5. 11-5 would at least secure a Wildcard spot. Maybe even 10-6. Maybe. Then we get into the playoffs, run the table, and win the Super Bowl! Hooray for everyone!!
(Hmmm…it seems after the buffet, I spent a little too much time at the open bar….)
Need to let it out? We’ll be talking trash on this craptastic display tonight at 6:30 CST on Blog Talk Radio. Call in at (718) 305-6491 or click the link in the upper right hand corner of the page just to listen.
About nolachick
Agreed, agreed, agreed. It’s like they only want to play when they’re up against the worst teams in the league.
If someone calls in a drunken, incoherent puddle of sobbing rage, that would be I.
I worry that SP is becoming predictable. I mean, hell, even I was like “Bet they try to come out of the gate deep to Henderson” and what happens? Pick.
Ugh. Ugh. After this game I had to take the night off, spent $20 on Mason Jennings tickets just to calm myself down.
Man. We are really on a razor’s edge as far as team unity right now, aren’t we?
Nolachick:
Thanks for the brees/ Shockey info… I knew he was pissed and from the video so did Shockey. With all the talk of the “weapons ” the Saints have this year during preseason and up until now, I thought it was a bit much to think that they would all work in sync the first year. All along I have been thinking that this season is just to get to know each other…. next year will be the year to watch. Still keeping the faith in NC!
predictability is definitely an issue. but it’s this weird combination of overthinking, yet all the while being predictable. not sure how he pulls it off.
@barefoot: i haven’t gotten to the “there’s always next year” place just yet. but if we lose to kc, you can bank on it.
I am already there girl! I am all about a miracle but them winning 6 of their remaining games will take a little more than a miracle to make the playoffs. I would love to see it- I really would – especially since I live in Carolina country. Like I said – still keeping the faith – praying for miracles and all that …. I still love to watch them play!
reaching for the bottle, sobbing uncontrollably
Ah! Are you going on at 6:30 central or 5:30? The show page says you are starting at 5:30
nevermind…
@ Monty Beaver: Was that SP criticism? I tell you man, I tried my ass off to tell everyone that in the 21st century, inconsistent coaching would be the story, as opposed to shitty personnel that plagued the franchise in the 20th century. No one would listen. And they now act surprised that SP is being a douche all the time.
Offering up another suggestion that could be used to crack the ultimate code: The team abbreviation spells the word “NO”.