Forget “Hugging It Out Bitch”; Nola Chick Wants Revenge

Ah President Bush…your wise words are ringing in my ears this week. It’s mainly because your botched take on a popular saying makes me laugh so hard that I snort, but it’s also because the actual saying sums up my feelings about this Thursday’s NFL game. If the Saints storm into Chicago, only to get their asses kicked again…shame on them. After all, “fool us, we can’t get fooled again.”

You see, Thursday isn’t so much about the Saints’ quest for the playoffs; it’s about the Bears’ playoff wishes. This Thursday, the Saints will hold the Bears’ playoff hopes in the palm of their hands. Vengeance shall be ours.

I yearn for vengeance like The Joker, or Max Payne, or Wile E. Coyote. Those Bad News Bears have spoiled our fun two seasons in a row. Third time would be a sham. This is the week to make up for those tasteless Hurricane Katrina signs fans held up in the NFC Championship game or the embarrassing smack down they put on us in the final game of last season. Thursday we’re serving up revenge Windy City style, ice cold.

So, what’s the plan of attack? It’s simple.
1. Start with a Chi-Town native named Pierre Thomas who has shown the ability to act a fool in front of his hometown crowd. Fire him up and let him loose.
2. Forbid Reggie Bush from taunting anyone at any point in the game…ever. No flipping in the end zone either. Threaten him with a 3 month b.j. drought from his knob slobbing sweetheart Kim Kardashian.
3. Protect the mutha f*cking football at all costs!! Protect it like a cat protects its tale in a room full of rocking chairs. Protect it like the Giants protect players who accidentally shoot themselves in the leg. In the words of my high school Sex Ed teacher, “protection just makes good sense.”

As for the other side of the ball, can the Saints’ secondary really live with themselves knowing they got scorched by a man who looks like this?

We both go into this game at 7-6, desperate to keep our playoff hopes alive. But the Saints have more on the line…and so do I! I bet on this sh*t damn it!

So my black and gold warriors, our moment has arrived. To quote our future president…


“This is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page…”

At the end of the day Saints, if you still find yourselves lacking motivation to take them down, keep in mind that this is what they think of us…

A picture’s truly worth a thousand words…

5 Comments to Forget “Hugging It Out Bitch”; Nola Chick Wants Revenge

  1. December 10, 2008 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    I’ll say this about those upper midwest screwjobs…they sure know how to PhotoShop.

  2. Saintaholic's Gravatar Saintaholic
    December 10, 2008 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    Wow…I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. reggie taking it from a bear or orton’s fugly face!

  3. December 10, 2008 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    I believe, as they say in the political world, that would be “too close to call”

  4. Monty Beaver's Gravatar Monty Beaver
    December 10, 2008 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

    When I ran into Ellis that time on the flight back to Nola, I tried not to get in to fan mode to much, but I definitely said “Please, please beat the Bears this year.”

    I don’t even hate them that much. Just enough, I’d say.

  5. Monty Beaver's Gravatar Monty Beaver
    December 10, 2008 at 1:20 pm | Permalink

    Too much. Ugh.

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