The Who Dat Pack’s Super Bowl Picks: Part 1

cards-v-steelers

“In the NFL fan nation, the New Orleans Saints (and those other teams) are examined by two separate yet equally important groups: The experts who spend years learning stats, analyzing players, and interviewing coaches and the bloggers who don’t do any of that stuff yet still feel just as smart. The Who Dat Pack represents the latter. These are our stories.” *Boom Boom*

The Who Dat Pack on their Super Bowl picks:

Grandmaster Wang of Moosedenied
Cardinals all the way. It would do my heart good for Terrelle Smith to get a ring. I’m not too crazy about Matt Leinart getting a ring, but the fact that he’ll get it while sitting on the bench makes it a little easier to swallow. There’s also Early Doucet and Ali Highsmith. Pittsburgh has Mitch Berger and Ryan Clark, but the homer factor swings heavily to Arizona.

An Arizona win would also be some degree of validation for the current Saints. The Cardinals are 4th in total offense, 2nd in passing offense and 32nd in rushing offense. 19th in total defense, 22nd in passing defense and 28th in scoring defense. Sound familiar? I already feel like Sean Payton and this current Saints team have been vindicated to an extent just by the Cardinals making it this far. It would be nice to have an example of “there’s more than one way to skin a cat” to point to when people start trotting out the old-school truism that “it’s impossible to win in the NFL unless you can run the ball and play great defense.” If the Cardinals can win this thing, it should do wonders for Saints fans’ hopes for the near future.

Pittsburgh, on the other hand, just doesn’t appeal to me at all. I have all the respect in the world for how good they are. I like Mike Tomlin. But for the most part, they just annoy me. Ben Roethlisberger is like the guy at the Phish show who’s just there to score some pot. He’s a whole different kind of douchebag than Leinart, and if I had to choose one of them to hang out and drink beer with, I’d take Ben all day long. But he’s still a douchebag. Pittsburgh is also one of those teams with a substantial national bandwagon following, much like Dallas. Nothing worse than hordes of people gloating over yet another championship while not being able to name a single offensive lineman on “their team.”

So I’m calling it with my heart. The mirror image of the Saints shocks the world and takes down the very definition of “defense wins championships.”

Cardinals 30, Steelers 24

Chef Who Dat of Cafe 641
It’s painfully obvious that Vegas oddsmakers already know what will happen on February 1st. It’s the reason that licensed professionals are offering the masses a biblical list of prop bets to keep them interested. But what the licensed professionals don’t understand is why. Why Kurt Warner will see your 7 points and proceed to make it rain. Why the game will result in a 68 point shoot-out that ends with a jaw-dropping defensive stand by the Cardinals. Why the thought of betting the house — and winning — on any of these assertions would provide only mild scrotal relief.*

So in the spirit of who gives a f*ck because we’ll still be miserable anyway . . . here’s the prop bet you’ll want to invest your 401K on:

What will Kurt Warner do first?
throw an interception
throw a touchdown
throw a complete pass
throw an incomplete pass
throw a complete pass for less than 5 yards
throw a complete pass for more than 47 yards
throw an incomplete pass intended for Anquan Bolden
throw an incomplete pass intended for Troy Polamalu
hand off the football and fumble
hand off the football for positive yardage
hand off the football for negative yardage
hand off the football for no yardage
fall down
get flushed out of the pocket and throw a wobbly pass toward the Cardinals sideline
get flushed out of the pocket and throw a wobbly pass toward the Steelers sideline
get flushed out of the pocket, shit his pants, and get called for intentional grounding
experience unrequited man love from Larry Foote
engage a hard cadence that draws more than two Steeler lineman offsides and using the free play to throw a go route bomb to Larry Fitzgerald
call an audible
lift his right foot
lift his left foot
call a timeout, look directly at the SkyCam, and thank his personal savior, LJC.

And here’s your Super Bowl XLIII prop tip: Never bet against Jesus.

*Let’s go ahead and admit what many already know: Grandmaster Wang has trademarked the Saints-to-the-groin-power-kick analogy.

Wang and Chef have had their say, but what about the folks at Hakim Drops the Ball and Canal St. Chronicles? And what about Da Chicks? Tomorrow, the remaining members of the Who Dat Pack break their silence.

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About Nola Chick

Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...)

Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

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