First Tony Romo gave his Yoko the boot now there’s word Reggie Bush has dropped about 115 pounds worth of dead weight. That’s right Saints fans; our prayers have FINALLY been answered. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are done..over…through…finito! And you thought voodoo spells didn’t work.
I’m not sure if any of my letters to the sexy Saint had anything to do with it or the fact that, you know, the world saw his girl banging a mediocre R&B singer on a sex tape a few years back. “Truthishly”…it doesn’t really matter. It’s football season for Madden’s sake! We didn’t need our main man caught up in the drama of helping Kim get ratings for the 4th season of her reality show.
If you’re wondering how it all went down, we’ve speculated she left behind a “Dear Reggie” letter that went something like this…
“My dearest Reggie,
WTF? I like, totally thought you were the one. But I dunno, things have been sucky. I like wish things could go back to the way they were, you know, before I needed you to get my name in the headlines. Ugh…why does love have to be like sooooo hard. I mean OMG! Zack and Kelly found a way to make it last, even after she cheated on him with that hot guy from The Max. But then again, Donna and David seem to be having trouble on the new ’90210.’ What a bummer. Oooh…my new Birkin Bag came in the mail today! I hope the paparazzi gets a shot of me wearing it during a staged trip to a fast food restaurant to show everyone how sad I am about our breakup. Wow…this is gonna be a ratings bonanza for my show. Anyways, um…bye!
Ah yes…parting is such sweet sorrow. Just don’t let the fleur-de-lis hit you in the tush on the way outta the dome, sweetheart. Super Bowl 43, here we come!
Oh and uh Reggie…”how you doin’?”