When you go into a game knowing you’re going to win, is there any need to bask in the glory of being right? Hell yeah suckas!! And while I accurately predicted an ass-whipping in the dome, those cowardly Lions put up a brave fight. With a poised rookie quarterback and a reliable Kevin Smith, they’re on the way to winning some games this season, just not on my watch.
For those who wondered if Drew Brees’ brilliance was just a flash in the pan, did the 6 TDs do anything to get you on board? And it’s not just how many touchdowns he scored in this home opener against the Lions, it’s how he scored them. Drew hit 5 different receivers in the end zone. (Did you even know we had 5 different players to pass the ball to?) In fact, Brees didn’t just have a good game, he had a game for the history books. His 6 touchdowns in a single game set the record for most TDs by a quarterback on opening weekend.
While Brees was clearly the star in this offensive talent show, Saints fans walked away with a pretty clear idea for whom the “Bell” tolls. Rookie running back Mike Bell accomplished two gi-normous feats: He single-handedly got the Saints over 100 rushing yards and he was a reliable go-to-guy in several crucial 3rd and short situations. Don’t be surprised if Pierre Thomas broke a sweat just watching this rookie run.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Saints game without some scary moments and disappointments. Yes Reggie, I’m talking to you. There is definitely such a thing as wanting it too bad. Your insatiable desire to score might translate well in the bedroom with Big Kim, but on the football field, it makes you antsy, accident prone, and quite often not very productive. As I fear the risk of waiting until this situation is past the point of no return, I’ll have my intervention with you here and now.
Just settle down, dude. Your NFL story is no longer about proving whether you’re a bust. It’s about the team. You don’t have to carry any heavy burden on your shoulders. You’re surrounded by a strong supporting cast and together, ALL of you can make amazing things happen. Get back to the basics. You don’t have to get 6 every time you touch the football. It would be nice, but no one expects it. So stop seeking out the end zone before you’ve even caught the damn ball. Remember, it’s the basics. Catch…then run. But more importantly, catch. Secure the ball, then run. But MOST importantly, SECURE THE BALL!!!!!! AAHHHHHH!!!!
As for the defense, I’ll reserve judgment until we face a
real more offensively sound opponent. After all, a good bulk of the Lions’ points came off turnovers and the Saints’ special team mistakes. And even had the defense held the Lions to 3 points or 1 touchdown, it’d still be premature to conclude our defensive woes were totally behind us.
All in all, this chick couldn’t ask for a better way to start the season. Lion meat was tasty, but suddenly, I’m in the mood for (cracked) ribs…