Leave the country for one week, and look what happens. We get creamed by the Pats, rumors run rampant that the team is being sold, the season’s third QB is set to start, and a UFL team kicks dirt in our collective faces? At least I didn’t miss anything good. Man.

So here’s the week’s round-up, with some pictorial support from Bucs Chick-approved photos from Paris and Brussels.

Patriots 35-Bucs 7. Yep, this one wasn’t much of a surprise, but the Patriots picked the hapless Buccaneers apart. According to quarterly summaries texted to me by Father of Bucs Chick, Tanard Jackson and Aqib Talib each managed to get interceptions, which counts for something. Bucs QB Josh Johnson was less effective with 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions, so he got the boot. The Bucs are now riding an 11-game losing streak, which is their longest since the record-holding 26-game streak of 1976-77. And with Green Bay up after the bye, well, things aren’t looking good. But, at least the Bucs are shaking things up for the rest of the season. That’s because…

Josh Freeman is the new starting QB. Freeman entered the game on Sunday, and according to Father of Bucs Chick, he looked “tentative.”  But it’s time for Coach Raheem’s cherished young draft pick to take the helm and try to at least add a spark of energy to this team. Because the Bucs have absolutely nothing going for them right now. I mean, the team punted on New England’s 37 yard line when down by 21 in the 4th quarter, so clearly they don’t even believe in their kicker. And Freeman has some serious upside, with his huge, Roethlisberger-like frame and power arm. Granted, he also has an unfortunate case of Bambi-in-headlights-itis, but the Bucs need something, anything, to feel good about right now, and Coach Raheem needs to show some improvement in his team by season’s end if he wants to keep his job. So, yes, there’s a fear that starting Freeman too soon might make him David Carr 2.0, but the team has no other choice at the moment.

The Glazers did NOT invest with Bernie Madoff. You know your team is awful when the biggest story of the moment is that a local radio show host announces that the team’s owners have financial trouble. I mean, sure, rumors that a team is for sale are big news in all markets, but I guess the Glazer brothers are the only members of the Bucs organization that are left for slandering. Because, according to the media law class I took in college, one can only be convicted of libel or slander against a public figure if one is proven to be purposely lying to tarnish the figure’s name. And let’s be honest, there is nothing bad that anyone can say about any member of the Bucs that could be proven untrue in a court of law. So, the Glazers it is. For the record, the team is not for sale. (Because who would pay money for this bunch of losers*?) Also probably not untrue…

Jim Haslett says his UFL team can beat the Bucs. The former Saints head coach now leads the Florida Tuskers in the brand-new UFL, and apparently he doesn’t think too highly of his former NFC South rival. His exact quote (care of the St. Pete Times)?

“Why did the Rams trade Will Witherspoon? Why do you hire Raheem Morris? It’s endless in the NFL right now. I’d like to have our team play a couple of those teams, to be honest with you.”

Ouch.

On the bright side…

1. We have a bye this week.

2. Next week: Creamsicles in full effect!

* 0-11 makes “losers” a slander-free statement.