Let’s review what happened in week 12.  New England got EXORCISED by the Saints.  Tom Brady, Bill Belichick, and the Pats were embarrassed.  It was a beautiful sight.  Meanwhile, the Dolphins were trampled by stampeding Buffalo.  It was not a pretty sight.  Now, we’re two games down to the Pats and no longer have a shot to play for the division title.  One more slip and the season and our play-off hopes will have fallen away.  We need a win badly! I really, really, really wish we could win this one.  Snow is falling outside as I write this.  It’s a quiet, tranquil Saturday morning.  But that could all change tomorrow when the snow melts away, people return to their busy lives, and the Patriots and the Dolphins face-off in sunny Florida! I can’t bear to think about what will happen.  All I know is what I *wish* would happen.  And who can make wishes come true? Well, Santa Claus, of course!

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a very good girl this year.  But my Dolphins have made me very sad.  Please help me, Santa! Hitch up your reindeer to the sleigh! And hurry! Please bring my present early this year.  Here is my list of Christmas wishes that I would like to see come true on Sunday:

1. Chad Henne, inspired by “lucky Week 13″ figures out how to channel Dan Marino.  Santa, if this is asking too much, I’d be willing to settle for Jay Fiedler–he knew how to win games!
   
2. Joey Porter is all walk and no talk.  Joey and his friends on the Miami D combine for 4 or more sacks.  They relentlessly ring Tom Lurch Brady’s bell so forcefully that he can’t catch his breath enough to muster “You rang?”
3. Tom Brady, inspired by the Spirit of Christmas, learns that it’s better to give than to receive.  He gives us “2 errant throws and a pick-six in-a-palm-tree.”
4. Ricky Williams, Lex Hilliard, and Lousaka Polite combine for over 200 yards rushing. We pound and we pound and we pound away at the Patriots.
5. Randy Moss is slowed down so much that he, well…gathers moss.
   
6. Tedd Ginn, Jr. plays the game of his life.  No more sloppy “grease the pigskin” play from this fellow.   He returns 2 kick-offs for TDs and pulls down passes like he’s got velcro hands.
7. Coach Tony Sparano learns how to think on his feet.  He refrains from bozo play calls, makes effective half-time adjustments, and inspires his team to never give up!
8. The Miami Dolphins defense stays strong.  Zero points are allowed in the 4th quarter.  And on top of that, our defense scores with the “pick-six in-a-palm-tree” that Brady generously hands over.
9. The Miami Dolphins beat the New England Patriots.  VICTORY is ours! Happiness is mine!

Santa, I know this is a lot to ask for.  But I really have been good all year long.  And I know that no wish is too big for Santa Claus.  I do believe, Santa, I do! Please bring my Christmas present early this year.  You don’t need to build it, paint it, wrap it, or tie it with a bow.  It won’t take up a lot of space on your sleigh.  Whatever you feed those reindeer, whatever magic dust you sprinkle that makes them fly, quick as lightning, maybe you could share a little of that with the boys in Dolphins uniforms on Sunday.  Oh, help me, Santa!!

I believe, with all my heart, in you, Santa, and in my Miami Dolphins!

Holding on to hope,

Dolphins Chick

So, there you have it.  I’m so afraid to think about this one.  I’ve asked Santa to help, and I’ve laid all my burdens at the fat man’s feet.  Now, I can deal with the Dolphins letting me down, but Santa… I won’t even think of it! Santa never disappoints! He’ll come through.  Won’t you, Santa?

I just can’t bear to watch.  Wake me when it’s over.  On second thought, don’t wake me! Let a girl dream!