Saints vs Cardinals Playoff Preview: Step Off Bitch!

saints wedding cake topper
Imagine a woman who’d always dreamed of the perfect wedding. She envisioned the dazzling dress, the charming chapel, the flowers and the cake. She’d planned it all down to the last detail. After 42 long years of waiting, she finally found a near-perfect man to turn her dreams into reality. Then along came some hussy from Arizona, who thought she could just come up in that woman’s house to try and steal her dream and her man right from under her. “Is this desert hoochie out of her *bleepin’* mind?” the woman thought to herself. “Not in my house. Not on my watch. Not my dream.”

In case you haven’t caught on my fellow Saints Chicks and Dudes (and if you haven’t, you’re really not helping to debunk those Southern stereotypes) we, the fans and the team, are that woman. That perfect wedding is the Saints Super Bowl we’ve been dreaming about for decades. And that near-perfect man is this near-perfect season that’s given us a new reason to believe that dreams do come true. On Saturday, our Saints will have the opportunity to deliver a message on all our behalf to the Arizona Cardinals: Step off bitch!

You see, it’s not even like Arizona’s some elite, high-classed homewrecker. Our team is better than their team. That’s not just from an impassioned fan’s perspective. The numbers speak for themselves.

QB Comparison:
#6 Drew Brees-4,338 regular season yards, 71% completion
#12 Kurt Warner-3,753 regular season yards, 66% completion

Overall Offense:
#4 New Orleans Saints-Averaging 272 yards per game
#12 Arizona Cardinals-Averaging 251 yards per game

Overall Defense
Uh…Let’s just skip this category, shall we?

Total Defensive Interceptions
New Orleans Saints: 26
Arizona Cardinals: 21

Rushing Yards
#6 New Orleans Saints: Averaging 132 yards per game
#28 Arizona Cardinals: Averaging 93.4 yards per game

As you can see, in nearly every category that counts, the Saints are just plain better than the Cardinals. Sure their defense ranks better overall, but let’s just call that the equivalent of putting on a little extra stress weight. We can tighten it up before the wedding day!

Here’s more good news fans, like any good catch, we’re not just good on paper. Our city and our team has heart. The Saints have an emotional leader in Drew Brees who never relents and consistently inspires his teammates to quite literally go that extra inch. They have a coaching genius in Sean Payton, who is quite capable of throwing together an offensive series that’ll make your head spin. And they have a fired up crowd of home town fans who are desperate to do whatever it takes to help their team get to the top.

Behind every good man is a good woman and well, we Saints fans are quite the happy “domemakers.” We’re going to bring it on Saturday. We’ll show off some of our best moves. Not all of our moves, of course. After all, there’s still another game left after this one. Gotta give ‘em just enough to keep ‘em begging for more.

We’ve got that New Orleans swagger…something that just doesn’t grow in the desert. This Saturday, we Saints fans will get one step closer to making our dreams come true and it won’t be long before they’re “puttin’ a ring on it.”
super bowl ring

(Btw, that adorable wedding cake topper can be found at site called My Wedding Splendor.)

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About Nola Chick
Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...) Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

Comments

  1. wow ! The saints had a good season, so what the cardinals had an OKAY seson but they are the shit in the playoffs. The siants are going to get absolutely killed on saturday and everyone knows it. They cant handle the cardinals explosive offense and along with their defense Brian Dockett is going to bring the house down on drew brees so he better watch out !

  2. good luck your gonna neeeed it

  3. nolachick says:

    alright ariston…i like your confidence. so i’m assuming the cardinals are “the shit” in the playoffs is a proclamation based merely on their performance last season. i mean, if that’s the case, wouldn’t the eagles still be in it?? wouldn’t the steelers be going to the super bowl? oh hell, why bother trying to make sense of this. let’s touch base again on Saturday, say around 8m EST. shall we?

  4. mamajody says:

    I believe that the Cards are a bit ‘nervous’ already. A bit lisps tongued? spelling off a bit? (“seson”, “siants”) WORRIED ARE YA! This little mama is ready to BOOGIE DOWN BOURBON WITH THE UMBRELLA, so we’re ‘SETTIN IT UP and READY TO LET IT ALL HANG OUT IN NEW ORLEANS’, “Cause we ain’t settlin for nuttin but a path to the SUPERBOWL” like little nola chic put it “After 42 long years of waiting,” IT’S BEEN ‘EARNED”!!

  5. WhoDatChick says:

    Way to keep it classy girls. It would be easy to slam this desert pigeon lover, but we are above that.

    I have been thinking about this game all week and I cannot wait to gather around my 60 inch with all of my best Saints lovin friends and cheer our boys on.

    I love this city, I love these players, I love our Saints. WHO DAT!!!!

  6. nolachick says:

    going to the chapel and we’re…

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