To the Saints Haters: Geaux F*ck Yourselves!

saints baby middle finger
Pardon me while I step away from my shiny, happy, black and gold trance to go the f*ck off!

Fact: The Saints have a history of sucking.
Fact: The Saints played a tight NFC Championship game and were a few key plays away from not making the Super Bowl.
Fact: The NFC Championship referees did not call a perfect game.
Fact: The Colts are an experienced, talented team that will present major challenges for the Saints.
Fact: The Saints’ pitiful history and the team’s emotional connection to the city is the stuff of Lifetime Original movies.

Looking at the above list of facts, all of which no Saints fans could or should deny, you can see why so many people have their crusty underwear in a bunch about the fact that the Saints have made it to the Super Bowl. I mean, if you just focus on those facts and those facts alone, even a few wishy-washy Saints fans might be tempted to label this team a fluke, or just plain ole lucky. And it’s obvious they’ll get their asses handed to them by the Colts because they don’t even deserve to be in the Super Bowl, right? RIGHT?!

Well, let Nola Chick break down a little something to certain (not all) Vikings fans, several members of the media, and a generic assortment of haters out there who seem to think that Super Bowl appearances are based on some sort of lottery drawing or, I don’t know, whoever sold the most brownies at the county bake sale. You’re either envious to the point of ignorance, void of a soul and common sense, or you’ve gone mad due to what can most likely be attributed to an untreated case of syphilis.

The Saints were the #1 seed in the NFC with the second best record in the league. They achieved home field advantage throughout the playoffs, not by beating up on Notre Dame and Temple in the regular season. They beat actual NFL teams. In fact, they beat the dog shit out of several teams in the National Football League. Do you not remember? Allow me to recap.

Teams the Saints Beat:
Lions, Eagles, Patriots, Giants, Jets, Bills, Dolphins, Bucs, Falcons, Redskins, Panthers, Rams

Teams the Saints Beat the Dog Shit Out of:
Eagles, Patriots, Giants, Jets, Bills, Comeback ass-whipping against Miami, Bucs

Okay, so we’ve established the Saints are good enough to beat NFL teams. Cool. And apparently, they can beat them convincingly. Alright, great. Now what about the fact that half the teams we beat had less than stellar records? My rebuttal is that the other half were legitimate playoff contenders until the very end, 3 of them made it into the playoffs and one of them made it to the AFC championship game.

Too bad we couldn’t prove ourselves in regular season like the Vikings, who faced the likes of the Browns, Lions (twice), Bears (twice…and got beat once), Rams, and Seahawks. Not to mention they had just as many “almost losses” (since apparently those now matter) in their regular season, like that miracle play against the Baltimore Ravens at the end of regulation in Week 6. Oh don’t think I forgot, homies. Nola Chick NEVER forgets. But you see, I didn’t judge you based on what you almost did. A win is a win. It’s all about the W. That’s what y’all were yelling in regular season, at least.

Fast forward to the NFC Championship game and suddenly, it’s the opposite of Brandy’s song. Apparently, “almost” does count. Let me ‘splain something to you people. When your team turns the ball over 5 times, when your QB chokes in the clutch and when your special and defensive teams can’t hold their own in overtime, there’s nothing “almost” about it. No one gave the Saints anything on Sunday. The defenders stripped those balls from your players on 2 occasions and I’m pretty sure Brett Favre wasn’t intending to throw a pass to someone in a black and gold jersey. The Saints defense made big plays when it mattered most and your team suffered the consequences. That’s how this game goes. Perhaps this is just the first year you paid attention, you bandwagon freak. Had Favre won in a close game, he’d have been hailed a hero but when the Saints win, it’s dumb luck? Kill yourselves.

Oh, and as for the ref complaints…the refs shat on both teams and the Saints were more heavily penalized in the game. 9 penalties for 88 yards against the Saints compared to 5 penalties for 32 yards against the Vikings. And for all of you boo-hooing over a missed roughing the passer call on Brett Favre, consider it a make good for the “unnecessary” unnecessary roughness call your qb got earlier in the game.

“But it’s not fair. They were hitting our quarterback so hard. He’s made of glass. Boo-hoo!”

This isn’t a f*ckin’ ballet class. This is FOOTBALL!!! It’s tough, it’s dangerous and that’s just how Brett Favre likes it. Don’t hail him as a rugged warrior one day then treat him like a porcelain doll the next. We don’t roll like that.

Sidebar: Here’s a friendly reminder to you Cowboys crackheads. Your team didn’t make it to our dome. You got stomped on by the team we beat. How the hell can you fix your mouth to say “you deserved to go to the Super Bowl.” Bitch, this isn’t some school field trip to Disney World. You don’t get points for good behavior at the end of the year. You gotta win to make it. You’ve gotta give your all. And if your all wasn’t enough, then it wasn’t your year. Better luck next time, loser. Go cry in your billion dollar stadium and choke on a Tex-Mex meal.

As for you “media machine”, well you’re just a predictable asshole. “We love the Saints!..The Saints are rusty…The Saints are unstoppable!…The Saints suck.” You know who sucks? YOU DO!!! According to your calculations, I should be lacing my grits with arsenic this week as I prepare to do whatever it takes to miss the Cowboys and Jets battling it out in the Super Bowl. Can the Saints lose to the Colts? Absolutely! Will they? Well I don’t know, freak. That’s why they play the game. I can tell you that the Saints have one of the best offenses in the league so they’re more than capable of giving the Colts a run for their money. I can also tell you that just as the Saints have some weaknesses, so do those precious Colts. Sure the Saints might get their hinds handed to them. But you know what, they can do a pretty good job of waxing some tail too, especially when they’re motivated. And you, media schmuck, have been giving them all the motivation they need.

Final point: We may hail from the Big Easy but NOTHING has come easy for this team. Sure we’ve sucked in the past and sure we have some sappy story that makes for good headlines but no one handed us a damn thing. This team worked their butts off this season. They gave everything. The league would have loved a Vikings-Colts match up just as much as the big wigs are salivating over this one. No one “fixed” the playoffs, you internet forum jackass. That’s the most ridiculous, asinine thing I’ve ever heard. Wanna know what I think about this whole “fixed” theory? I think whatever creature that spawned you should have been “fixed” nine months before you exploded onto this Earth as a living, breathing accident. Geaux F*ck Yourselves…all of you!!!

The Nola Chick has spoken. Oh, and Who Dat!

And now back to my regularly scheduled, black and gold, happy place. :)

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About Nola Chick
Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...) Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

Comments

  1. Barefoot Saints says:

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!! Out of state Saints fans hear it all the time, possibly even more…. I think I will frame this and put it on my desk! Say something great about the Saints and I hear ” how many rings do they have??” or ” well , dont ever think we have seen them in a super bowl” To which I reply…. we may not have any rings but we sure have plenty of fingers that are itching for one so watch out! Sometimes it can simply boil down to who wants it more…I think we have that covered.

  2. Mike G. says:

    Nolachick,

    OMG!!! You’re freakin’ awesome. I just recently started reading your blog/rants and I love it. I don’t know what you do for a living but you should be on ESPN! You sound like the female (chick) version of KO. Hope you see that as a compliment. Keep up the good work!

    WHO DAT!

    Mike

  3. I’ve been working up to this too. I’m just still in some kind of fog of disbelief, but I’m sure I’ll be just as pissy in a few days when I’ve heard even MORE of this bullshit. Until then, thanks for picking up my slack. :)

  4. virginia48 says:

    this is wonderful…wish i could stand on the street corner and shout to the top of my lungs what u related in this article…only a true saints fan would understand…the rest…well what can i say…jealousy is a green monster and it has apparently reared its ugly head once again…give us a little credit…we won…we deserve it…for now…who dat!!!!!

  5. virginia48 says:

    this is wonderful…wish i could stand on the street corner and shout to the top of my lungs what u related in this article…only a true saints fan would understand…the rest…well what can i say…jealousy is a green monster and it has apparently reared its ugly head once again…give us a little credit…we won…we deserve it…

  6. Dan Kelly says:

    OMG!

    THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

    WHO DAT!

  7. nolachick says:

    haaa!!thanks y’all. I had to let it out. And i feel much better now. :)

  8. Grumps says:

    I couldn’t have said it better myself. Where i am from (freezing my Who Dat ass off up in Canada), everybody loves the Vikings and the Packers (in that order). I need to copy this several Million times and proceed to hand it out to everyone in my city and then head off to hand them out in Minnie.

    Awesome. Truly awesome!

  9. El Douche says:

    Wow, you NOLA women scare the crap out of me!

  10. Grumps says:

    Scare the crap out of you?

    I find myself somewhat aroused :)

  11. Chef Who Dat says:

    We are who we think we are.
    We do it for us.
    Sinn Fein.
    Ourselves alone.

  12. andie says:

    I couldn’t have said it better sister! Who DAT!

  13. Ben says:

    I totally agree. But please leave Tex-Mex out of it. Tex-Mex can be very good.

  14. msladee says:

    WOW. I’ve been following this site for the season, but this post brought the lurker out of the shadows. *standing ovation* The ONLY reason I haven’t snapped on some people is that I am making a conscious effort to save good karma for the Superbowl.

  15. nolachick says:

    good call on the karma msladee. No diss on the Tex Mex Ben. No one said it had to taste bad while they choke on it. To everyone else, I’m super flattered and more than happy to speak for, frighten, and arouse the masses in the name of the Who Dat nation.

  16. Quinnie says:

    OMG! This was the best article I’ve read all season! Love it! You keep outdoing youreslf but I expect nothing less from you :)

  17. NewOrleansLady says:

    OMG, this gave me goosebumps. If you DON’T have a blog/sports writer/tell what you are thinking via word job you need to get one after this article. LOVE it!!!

  18. Wang says:

    *standing applause*

  19. Barefoot Saints says:

    Printed this off so we can give it to several NFC fenenemies…. then we are gonna frame and it hang in the barn! (definately a place of honor!)

  20. EF Cuttin says:

    I’m posting this article on the AllHipHop forum…U said it ALLL!!! But being the nitpick I am the “miracle” was against Frisco,the Ravens blew the kick(equally lucky lol)..U did that, chick!!!! Kudos….

  21. saintseester says:

    You are not a lukewarm person. Thanks for letting them HAVE it.

  22. SaintsfaninATl says:

    great job NC. I love it. So true. There was a this little Vikings beeotch in a sports bar, as I was minding my own business watching my Saints. Well, when we began struggling with the Rams (ugly!) the Vikings Beeotch started cheering wildly. I just looked over, and quickly assessed that she was just cheering for THEM to have Home Field Advantage. (Oh so sorry losers!). When the Saints won, I looked over and was cheering, and the VB said, “oh Big deal, you beat the RAMS!” LMAO. well, I coulda sworn 5 minutes ago you were excited that the Rams could possibly beat US!
    So I said, yes, we did, and that means we are STILL undefeated, unlike your team, and STILL on our way to HFA. Oh, and by the way ‘big deal, you beat the Lions”. (same day)
    I have always known this matchup would happen, since that day, and I just HOPE and pray that little MN beeotch reads this. – F. U. loser!
    Super beauxwl bound SAINTS. Read it and weep… over, and over, and over.
    Who muddafukkin DAT!

  23. sexysaintsfan says:

    Couldn’t said it better myself

  24. nolachick says:

    Damn Saints fan in ATL. I like your style! ;)

  25. Terrell says:

    I’m so proud to say you’re my CUZZIN!!! nola chick(s) ROCK Dominick chick(s) ROCK OUT!!!!! geauxxxx Thelmaaaa! WHO DAT BIT#HES!!!!!!

  26. babymama says:

    MAMA IS ‘SO PROUD’ THAT SHE TAUGHT HER BABY GIRL HOW TO “TELL LIKE IT IS, WHEN IT NEEDS TO BE TOLD”!!! (“IT NEEDED TO BE TOLD” AND ” AND FROM A MAMA WHO WATCHED YOU OVER THE YEARS GO THROUGH THE ‘PAIN AND FRUSTRION OF LOVING SOMETHING THAT EVEN ‘SHE (MOM) DIDN’T UNDERSTAND, THE WORRY OVER ‘FREAKIN OUT WITH PALPATATIONS AFTER LOSSES, BUT ‘NEVER’ GAVE UP ON A TEAM THAT YOU BELIEVED IN’) JUST LIKE YOU MADE IT TO WHERE YOU ARE THROUGH ALL OF YOUR STRUGGLES, DISSAPPOINTMENTS, AND TAKING ‘BULLSHIT’ WHEN YOU DIDN’T DESERVE IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE TALENT, “SO DID YOUR TEAM”

    I SAY TO THAT “WHO F**KING THAT, FROM YA MAMA IN NEW ORLEANS.”

    (AND WE’RE READY TO TAKE THE FIGHT TO THE SUPERBOWL AND BEYOND) TO ‘ANYONE WHO DON’T LIKE IT)

    “NOW I’LL GO SAY A COUPLE IF RASARIES TO CALM BACK DOWN!!

  27. babymama says:

    CORRECTION! THE WORD IS “ROSARY’S” FOR YU SMART ASSES WHO MAY HAVE CAUGHT THAT ERROR!!

  28. UptownBaby says:

    You are awesome!!! You put my feelings into words!!! Now these dumbass Redskins/Cowboys fans out here in DC/MD will feel it. My coworkers are gonna hate me. I’m gonna print out this blog and tape snippets of it on their desks!!!!! SUCK IT!!!!! WHO DAT babay!!!! GEAUX SAINTS!!!!

  29. saintsfan77 says:

    you rock chickaboom. all this retarded shit about late hits, and now certain media dumb asses twisting greg williams words in that interview is just off the hook. saints earned their berth in the big show, screw everyone who doesnt like it.

  30. CHERYL says:

    Gotta be related! Sister ya made us ALL proud! Have one on me!

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  2. [...] a year in the making, ever since the Cowboys brought the Saints winning streak to a halt, then proclaimed themselves the best team in the league, despite failing to, you know, actually win the Super Bowl. Oh this is gonna be better than [...]

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