5 Things We’ve Learned in Week 1 of Preseason

5. The Patriots’ backup QB is one to watch
Ryan Mallett had the whole town talking after the Pats took a dump on the Jaguars in their preseason opener. Is it that the guy is really that good or is that we all need to stop hating on Bill Belichick and acknowledge that the dude knows how to turn average Joes into superstars. *Gulp!* If he keeps lighting it up, you can expect him to be a hot commodity for struggling teams next season.

4. The 49ers will suck even worse than some people expected
Imagine going to a restaurant and having to choose between the hot steaming bowl of vomit or the ice cold bucket of horse piss. That pretty much sums up coach Jim Harbaugh’s quarterback controversy in San Francisco. Alex Smith was inconsistent at best for the 49ers last year and it’s hard to believe that, at least at any point this season, rookie Colin Kaepernick will evolve to be that much better. Wanna know how bad things are there? They dug up Daunte Culpepper to spice up their QB race. Oy vey!!

3. Tim Tebow won’t suck nearly as much as some people expected
Look, he didn’t have a breakout game against the Cowboys or anything but if there’s one thing Tim Tebow always shows, it’s poise. He doesn’t seem to be the type to let outside influences get in his head. I, for one, firmly believe that he’s going to work his butt off to prove he can play at the professional level, if for no other reason than to spite his doubters. Sure he had a few blunders but his stats were solid: 6 of 7 passes for 91 yards and two runs for 15 yards each. I’d say the media should get off this kid’s back, but something tells me Tebow lives for the pressure cooker. Shake those haters off!

2. The NFC South is the new NFC East
I’m sorry Eagles, Giants, Redskins and Cowboys fans, but your division has been dethroned in the NFC. The South has risen again…and thankfully not in the “let’s force black people to work for us for free kind of way.” The Saints, Falcons, Bucs and even the Panthers in the hands of Cam Newton had impressive preseason starts. Of course, it’s just preseason and there’s only so much you can read into the clean sweep of victories for the entire division. Still, you’d be an idiot not to recognize the high caliber of talent on each of those teams. (Well, maybe not so much the Panthers, but still…) The NFC South will be a force to be reckoned with. Just mark my words. (And if I’m wrong, prepare for me to heavily edit this post…)

1. Preseason sucks
Can we get on with this already? I know just last week I was all excited about the start of preseason football, because at least I was getting some kind of football. But now that we’re a week in, I’m officially over it. Half the starters aren’t playing, somewhere midway through the third quarter it starts to feel like Arena ball, and all I want to do is not be forced to watch that awkward crap-fest being labeled as “game commentary” on the NFL network. We’re ready for the real deal. Make the cuts, seal the deals and lets get on with it already!

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About Nola Chick
Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...) Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

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  2. [...] Valentine, there must also be a Louis Winthrop III, who finds himself sinking from hero to zero. Tim Tebow’s jersey sales have apparently tumbled dramatically. It makes sense, given that he wasn’t named [...]

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