Let’s be real for a moment, Saints fans. A preseason game versus the Texans is sort of like going to an open bar and discovering that all that’s left is Michelob Ultra and soda (a.k.a. “cold drinks”, for my Nola folks.) You wouldn’t exactly say you’re excited about Michelob Ultra. But what are you gonna do? Not drink? As if…
So, since you’re going to watch this game anyways, they might as well make it count! Here’s what we’re gonna need to see to ease the pain of preseason.
1. Drew Brees scoring touchdowns
It’s great to know that Garrett Hartley has rediscovered how to get it through the uprights but honestly, I want no parts of field goals tomorrow. Drew struggled last season with more picks than I care to remember. (It was 22. Sigh…) While we all know he’s still got it, I wouldn’t mind seeing it, and preferably soon, as in Saturday night.
2. I need to see Colston
I don’t know about you but I miss my lil boo, Marques. Colston returned to the practice field this week and it’s rumored that he could hit the field against Houston. The magically delicious wide receiver is recovering from an offseason knee surgery. (Memba he missed the last game of regular season against the Bucs because of his bum leg?) My endless love said he recovered fine after the surgery, then experienced some unexpected irritation due to his knee. I know the feeling…
3. Schaub on the Ground
Do what you gotta do, Greg Williams. Blitz ‘em every time for all I care. I just want to confirm what I already suspect: that the defense’s killer instincts are back! That “D” will be the key to our “Ws” and a return to the Supa Bowl. Punish them. FINISH THEM!
4. More Joe Morgan, Please!
I don’t know a lot about this kid, but after that fantabulous punt return against the 49ers, I have a feeling we’re going to be the best of friends. I’ve been silently jittery about the lack of big plays on a Reggie-less return team. But maybe the only change we can anticipate without Reggie is a lack of nonsensical fumbles. (Sorry Reg…but you KNOW what I’m talking about)
5. NFL Network Commentators Zippin’ It
I’m not sure what the NFL network wants from me with the commentators talking over commentators but I can’t take it. Shut the hell up, already. I don’t need Rich Eisen explaining what someone else just said about something I just saw. Make it stop. Preseason is painful enough as it is.