My Drunk Dial to the New Orleans Saints


Time of call: 12:39am, January 17th, 2012

Hey…it’s me…Nola Chick.
I’m just here on my couch having a few glasses of wine and thinking about you and about us.
We had some wild times, right? Right??
(Nervous laughter)
I probably shouldn’t have called but…I have a few things to get off my chest.
I guess I was just wondering, what happened?
We were so happy then all of a sudden…it’s over. Just like that.
I keep asking myself what I’m going to do on Sundays.
Sundays were our days!
And we were supposed to take that big trip to Indianapolis in a couple of weeks.
Now, I’ll just spend that weekend at home, thinking about what might have been.
I feel empty, you know?
I just want it to go back to the way it was a few months ago when we were riding high and it seemed like nothing could stop us.
It’s like, I can’t turn on the TV or listen to the radio without being reminded of how things were.

I’M DYING OVER HERE!!! AND SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE!!! I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN CARE????
OR IS IT JUST ALLLLL ABOUT YOU?? HAVE YOU EVEN STOPPED FOR ONE SECOND TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT ME? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME?!! SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HATE YOU!!!

I’m sorry. (sobbing at this point)
I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just that, I miss what we had.
I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I’m just…I’m lost.
I can’t believe you did what you did and I can’t believe who you did it with.
The 49ers? Those skanks?
I’m just saying…you could do better.
Part of me wants to grab a bat, get in my car, drive to San Francisco right now and…no, no…I won’t go there.
I’m better than that.
I’ll just say what goes around comes around.

Anways, I want to know what we can do to make this right again. Or have you moved on, already? Yeah, I bet that’s what it is. You’ve moved on already.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE SO **BLEEPIN** SELFISH!!! NO SERIOUSLY, YOU’RE JUST SELFISH. IF YOU CARED ABOUT ME, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE LET THINGS GET TO THIS POINT. YOU WOULD HAVE DONE WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE IT WORK. YOU PUT ME ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST GET OVER IT? REALLY? JUST LIKE THAT?? I HATE YOU!!!!!

(Violently sobbing now)
I don’t hate you, baby. You know I don’t mean that. I’m just hurt.
I’m sitting here, listening to “Stand Up and Get Crunk” on repeat, wearing that t-shirt I wore on our special day back in February of 2010, thinking about how happy we were and driving myself nuts.
I probably shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry I called. I really do hope you’re happy. I’m not just saying that.
I want you to be happy because when you care about someone you want the best for them.
I just wish I could be happy, too but I guess there’s no way to make that happen.

(Chugs more wine)

Maybe this time apart will be good for us. Maybe once we think about what went wrong, we can figure out how to make it right. But only a few months apart, okay? Maybe once the summer is over we can start fresh. I really think we can have what we had again.

Well, you were probably busy so I won’t keep you any longer. And I know you probably think I’m drunk but I’m not.
(I’m totally drunk)
I’m just emotional and having a hard time dealing with things.
So anyways, I’ll let you go.
Before I do…please say those two little words to me. I know it’s hard to say but I need to hear it.
Okay, I’ll go first…
(Deep and heavy sigh)
Who dat.

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About Nola Chick
Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...) Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

Comments

  1. Brooke says:

    I wanted to make a call like this too but it violates my restraining order. :( (hiccup)

  2. Jen Buras Noveh says:

    Is it wrong if I dressed in my plethora of finest Saints gear, get in my black & gold vehicle and repeatedly circle the parking lot of the training facility where they are doing exit interviews today, repeatedly screaming things like “WHY?!? I thought we had something??,” “I need you!,” “I can’t quit you.” and the mother-of-all “You complete me!” Is that too “stalker?”

  3. Jen Buras Noveh says:

    Oh, and I’ll be waving my second set of playoff tix (yes the same set I have pulled from the recycling bin twice) out the window screaming “What am I supposed to do with these? I had a babysitter for that day, my jersey picked out! What now? How could you?”

  4. Nola Chick says:

    I don’t care what society says anymore. I say we follow raw, crazy chick emotion until the hurt goes away. Those tickets are obviously mocking you, btw

  5. sassymama says:

    *I LOVE IT!!!!!!* Although the stress of ‘not watching’ and waiting for the emotions of my grandson in the next room, so that I can flick from my favorite sitcom to see that touchdown, or great interception play, has ended. Maybe I’m comfortable with knowing that *I’m not the JINX* to the team and I can feel free to watch next year. (Something to look forward to for me)

  6. April says:

    If I could pinpoint whose tires are worth slashing, I would slash them…

  7. Erin Casey Hangartner says:

    Jen – I am dressed and ready to go to Airline Drive. I picked up a 5th of tequila and a gallon of vodka to get us through. I NEED to talk about this – I NEED to know WHY this happened. I guess what I am saying is that I need closure. Something. Just something to hold on to.

  8. WhoDatChick says:

    You know, I though I was finally moving on and getting over “Black Saturday”, until the news this morning, showed our coach looking glum during a presser and they had the nerve to show highlights of Jimmy Graham’s incredible touchdowns. I think I am still in the anger phase. i feel like Greg gave us a “F You” on the wait out. You haven’t been shit since ’09, so please get the hell on and don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

    I just wanted to thank you NOLAChick, for giving us football chicks a place to gloat, curse, cheer, cry, rage, and get a good laugh and a unique taje on all things Saints; all season long. You really do a great job. *sniffle* *sob* Until we meet again, during the draft or any other news worthy change (like Greg Williams getting hit by a bus on his way to plump up his Moobs at Micky D’s.)

    Much love,

    WhoDatChick :o (

  9. Claudette says:

    I feel so much better, thought I was the only one! LOL

  10. Nola Chick says:

    Oh Who Dat Chick, the truth of it all is that Moobs Man knew he was getting canned. That he was even able to land a job somewhere else boggles the mind. (Does Jeff Fisher not watch the playoffs?)

    And trust me, I couldn’t get through all this without my fellow chicks, all of whom I’d love to enjoy a night of heavy beer drinking with whilst talking sports and harassing man candy. Thank goodness we have each other. Clearly, the men in our lives are not to be trusted :(

    @Claudette: Welcome to the sisterhood of sorrow

  11. Funny! I’m a Cowboy fan…..I’ve been making this call for the past 6 years LOL So you,ve been better off than me. If I ever see Tony Romo in the streets…..

  12. Saintsgirl09 says:

    I love this!! I’ve been so sad since the disbelief wore off! Goodbye Greg, Hello Steve!

  13. nolachick says:

    @beauty of sports- I’m not a Cowboys fan and I actually wouldn’t mind helping you jump him in the streets…just cuz.
    @Saintsgirl: Happy about Steve…but I still hate everything and everyone.

  14. John Landry says:

    I needed the levity (thank you) and “the Spaggs” too. Both are helping me to move on. Nice writing skills btw…

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