“Anonymous Sources Can Suck It”, Says Anonymous Source


Chicks in the Huddle recently received a letter from a source who has asked not to be identified, regarding the latest round of accusations against the New Orleans Saints. While we can not independently verify the accusations made in the letter, we find it important to bring these allegations to light. After all, what good is a rumor if there is no one around to report on it? The letter is posted below.

Dear Anonymous Source(s),

I can’t wait to hear what dirty gossip you’ll be handing over to the media next about the New Orleans Saints. Perhaps that Coach Sean Payton eats his own young? Maybe that team owner Tom Benson cleans his tires with live kittens? Your latest doozy is a claim that GM Mickey Loomis used a secret recording device to eavesdrop on opposing team coaches back in the 2002-2004 seasons. You know, those glory days when the Saints were barely racking up 8 wins a season? How courageous of you to wait 10 years to anonymously bring these charges to light! They call our servicemen and women brave, but you sirs or madams, YOU are the real heroes.

(It’s either that or all it takes nowadays is for a few douchebags with an axe to grind to make national headlines.)

I can’t help but wonder why it took you so long to come forward with these allegations. Could it be a possible attempt to strike while the iron is hot? After all, The Loomis story sounds oh-so-sexy in the wake of the Saints’ bounty scandal, which led to Loomis’ suspension. Maybe you figured your story would seem that much more believable now that the Saints are the perceived “bad boys” of the league.

Unless of course you have proof? I know, it’s silly to require an anonymous source to actually prove anything these days. ESPN claims these alleged recording devices Loomis used were disabled in 2005 after Katrina. Did you photograph them? Did you record video of Loomis using them? Do you have him on tape saying “Thank goodness I installed those recording devices so that I could eavesdrop on opposing coaches!” Or is this just a classic case of “he-said, sources say,” which will do little more than distract the team from focusing on what really matters right now: football

The Saints’ front office has strongly denied all these accusations. It should also be noted that the Saints were 12-12 at home when these recordings supposedly happened. Oh yeah…they CLEARLY had the upper hand in the dome. We’re talking the Aaron Brooks, laughing his way to the sidelines after an interception, days. If anything, Loomis should have been eavesdropping on what was happening in the Saints’ locker room. Maybe then we’d have some clarity on what would make the team’s QB think it was okay to giggle after messing up.

So what’s your angle, anonymous sources? Is it because you know a network like ESPN is foaming at the mouth over a story like this? This is the same network that dropped the ball on reporting the Jerry Sandusky story, despite there being hard evidence of a child molestation investigation against Penn State’s golden boy. They let a small time newspaper lead the charge on that, while sitting back to “sort out the facts” and running mere blurbs instead of asking the hard hitting questions. But rumors that a Saints GM taped some opposing coaches conversations 10 years ago when the team sucked balls? Oh yeah…let’s run with that one, boys!

Also anonymous sources, can you explain how all of this worked? Did Loomis eavesdrop on halftime speeches, use his secret decoder pin to translate whatever plays the coaches discussed in the locker room, then whisper into his watch, a la James Bond, to Saints coaches what the opposing coaches discussed? With 30 seconds left in the half, the Saints coaches then changed up their plays to react to what opposing coaches said? Or could it have gone something like this:

Loomis (Whispering): I just heard the Vikings Coach say something about running the Eagle-Eagle half moon slant left in their first drive.
Saints Coaches: Uh…yeah dude, just to reiterate, we don’t know what any of that shit means.

Word on the street is that you all are disgruntled ex-employees, hell-bent on sticking it to the old team. Maybe you wet the bed a little too. It can’t be confirmed but it can’t be denied either! You clearly don’t understand the law because the statute of limitations is up on this thing. You’re shit starters who get nothing out of this other than hurting members of the team and staff, many of whom weren’t even on the payroll when this all “allegedly” went down. Sources say your so-called moral compasses have been firmly pointed up your bums the past decade. Suck it.

Sincerely,
(Another) Anonymous Source

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About Nola Chick
Shaneika, a.k.a. Nola Chick, is a lifelong crazed Saints fan and creator of chicksinthehuddle.com. If she looks familiar, you may have seen her lose a Cadillac on "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker or win Super Bowl tickets on the Ellen Show. (She gets around...) Twitter Handle: @chicksndahuddle

Comments

  1. Shelly says:

    Wait, these allegations are about the 2002-2004 seasons? WTF?! I never read the whole report because I was just disgusted with all the supposed allegations people were throwing out. Why is this relevent now? Holy crap, people need to get a life!

  2. Nola Chick says:

    Yes ma’am. Not to mention that ESPN says it can’t verify the veracity of the claims. But whatever…it’s just journalism.

  3. Keith says:

    Damn I didn’t even know this, good job getting it out there for us!

    I’m a few months late but still good to know!

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