I saw a promo for Wednesday’s NFL opener featuring the Giants and Cowboys and I’m pretty sure it made me want to make out with somebody. (Don’t flatter yourself, Tony Romo. This isn’t about you.) This is about the 7 month drought from my first love. This is about that time of year that makes me avoid getting too wasted on Saturdays so that I’m not too hung over on Sunday. This is about obsessing over my fantasy team, only to come in third place AGAIN to some broad who named her squad after her favorite color nail polish and used auto-draft. It’s football season!!! I’m so happy I could raise the roof, except I’m pretty sure it’s not quite retro enough to be considered hip and ironic. So I’ll just show you this picture of a kitty cat raising the roof instead.
I’m so excited about the return of the season, I don’t even mind that the opening match-up is Cowboys v Giants. I love Eli in the DirecTV commercials as much as the next chick but let’s face it: He never seems to get rolling until around week 12. It will be interesting to see if the same team that loss twice to the Redskins last year will once again underwhelm us until that point in the year when they’ve been completely written off. The Giants certainly can’t expect to come into this season under the radar like they’ve done in years past. They’re the Super Bowl champs and they shouldn’t get a pass on needing to make a statement out of the gate.
As for the Cowboys…sigh. What more can be said about this team that hasn’t already been said? Tony Romo’s quest for redemption, blah blah blah. Nothing to lose, blah blah blah. Insanely rich, madman owner with a chip on his shoulder, yada yada yada. I’m so over hearing about what the Cowboys could and might do. Until they actually do something, I’m pretending they don’t exist…with the exception of Miles Austin’s abs. Those are definitely real to me.
See, I wasn’t kidding. Yowsers. Mmmph! Wait, what were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, FOOTBALL!
So excited about the kickoff kids. Here goes the first of many predictions. I’m taking the G-men in a close one, because you just can’t lose after watching that Super Bowl banner drop.