Eagles Offense, Where Art Thou?

Eagles 3, Cowboys 17

That’s the only explanation I have. I mean, I recognized those guys – Nick Foles, LeSean McCoy, DeSean Jackson, Jason Avant, Riley Cooper, Brent Celek, Zach Ertz – or at least guys who looked like those guys, but they were playing like they didn’t realize the game had started or something. Wow, was that sorry.

Stud of the week: DeMeco Ryans, who was pretty much the only bright spot in the game. He had a pick that led to the Eagles only points in the game, plus a sack on Tony Romo that was one of the few bright spots in the game.

Actually, I have to give credit to the entire defense. Two weeks ago, the Cowboys hung 48 points on the Broncos. The only team that’s held them to fewer points (16) this season was the Chiefs, widely recognized as one of the best defensive units in the entire NFL. The defense did their job. Holding the opponents to 17 points at home should be more than enough to secure the win.

Unfortunately, as I already pointed out, the offense played like they had a big cooler full of Xanax. Nick Foles couldn’t hit the side of a barn. When he did manage to get a pass off and get it somewhere in the vicinity of a receiver, the guys caught as if they had big, meaty sausages tied to their fingers. Jason Avant dropped multiple passes. JASON AVANT PEOPLE! Shady was running like someone tied his shoelaces together. When Foles went down, Matt Barkley came in and apparently couldn’t remember what team he plays for, since he kept throwing to Cowboys.

And can we talk about Alex Henery for a moment? Can’t fault him for missing at 60 yard attempt, but he almost botched a 31 yarder. We were watching the Colts take down the Broncos Sunday night, and Chef Spouse almost teared up when Adam Vinatieri hit that 52 yarder. That guy is not reliable.

Oh and Nick Foles’s injury? Concussion. The Eagles are running out of quarterbacks, particularly since Matt Barkley is not ready for prime time. He’s not even ready for Good Morning America. Hell, he’s not ready for the 5 am early morning broadcast, when only crazy people are up. Anybody know what Vinny Testaverde is up to these days?

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About Snarky Eagles Chick

Snarky Eagles Chick, a.k.a. Elizabeth, has followed the Eagles since the age of 5.
Twitter Handle: http://twitter.com/ewengel

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