NFL Settles Concussion Suit

The NFL still won't admit that playing football had anything to do with the head trauma suffered by thousands of former players. But it's willing to cough up $765 million dollars to make the issue go away. Today a judge accepted a settlement between the NFL and 4,500 former players who sued the league over concussions. Here's a statement released by the court mediator in the case: “This is a historic agreement, one that will make sure that former NFL players who need and deserve compensation will receive it, and that will promote safety for players at all levels of football. Rather than litigate literally thousands of complex individual claims over many years, the parties have reached … [Read more...]

Pre-Season Is Here! So…Where’s Your “D”?

For some teams, preseason is well underway. But for New Orleans Saints fans, it officially starts tonight when the home team takes on the Kansas City Chiefs. Head Coach Sean Payton is back! Wide receiver Joe Morgan is essentially dead. But what we're most excited about is what this season will bring for the beleaguered defense. There's a new coach at the helm of the crappiest defense in NFL history. And although the bar is pretty low for new leader Rob Ryan, so is the margin of error. In honor of this exciting new season, the Chicks want to help you celebrate the return to football...and since it's us, the celebration includes booze! We're giving away two $25 gift cards to Dave … [Read more...]

The Pro Bowl is Changing…Again

They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But for the NFL if it is broke, keep fixing it...over..and over...and over again. The Pro Bowl is once again getting tweaked in an effort to make at least one NFL fan even casually give a damn. From here on out, you can say goodbye to the traditional system of a certain number of players from each conference getting selected to go. Starting this season, the players will be selected via a draft. So it's sort of like fantasy football, without the fantasy. Deep. And that's not all that's changing, according to the NFL Player's Association: Players will be assigned to teams through the Pro Bowl Draft, in which two leading vote getters will … [Read more...]

NFL Bag Ban: Created by a D-Bag?

Remember that time a woman snuck a hand grenade hidden inside her Kate Spade purse into an NFL game? Or the time that mom managed to get a machete into a stadium by hiding it in her toddler's diaper bag? Oh wait a minute, those things never happened. Which begs the question: why is the NFL banning women from bringing their purses to games? This ridiculously unnecessary rule change is supposed to be under the guise of "safety" and "line efficiency". To be fair, the rule also applies to backpacks, coolers, computer bags and briefcases. (But who the hell brings a briefcase to a football game??) The NFL insists that if it doesn't have to do bag checks, the line will move faster and … [Read more...]

NFL 2013 Draft Highlights (Kidding! There weren’t any…)

Since I'm among friends, I'll be honest. Last night's draft was about as exciting as watching my dog sniff for the perfect patch of grass on which to poop. But congratulations, NFL! I watched anyway. The WHOLE damn thing. There was none of the "Houston disses Reggie Bush for Mario Williams" excitement of years past. Sure there was the dejection of Geno Smith, but I'm not such a twisted bitch that I'd take joy in his obvious heartache. (Unless of course he was a Falcons player.) I guess it's something that the number one draft pick is from a no-name school like Central Michigan. I guess.. But is was widely known that the Chiefs had their eye on offensive tackle Eric Fisher. A … [Read more...]