Sad-gate: Did Falcons Fake Crowd Noise?

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If you've been to an Atlanta Falcons game in recent years, there are two things you've come to expect: A weird videotaped "call to action" from Samuel L. Jackson to make noise...and the deafening silence from a crowd that thinks it is loud, but is often drowned out by opposing fans. Well now it turns out, on those rare occasions when it seemed like Falcons fans were doing their part as the "12th man", it may have really been a hidden "13th" man doing the dirty work. The NFL is investigating whether the team faked crowd noise. And if you're thinking that's the most pathetic thing you've ever heard of in life, you're right. Falcon logo lookalike/team owner Arthur Blank today called the … [Read more...]

The NFC South: A Bastion of Suck

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To all the fans of teams in the NFC with winning records, on the outside of the playoffs and looking in, allow me to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the NFC South. Because the sad reality is that a team from our division could end this season with a 6-10 record, and still make it to the postseason. In fact, an NFC South team could feasibly make it to the postseason, and as Jon Gruden so wisely pointed out during Monday Night Football game, still get a top 10 pick in next year's draft. I realize how infuriating this must be for fans of teams like the Cowboys and Lions, who may have their seasons come to an end in week 16, despite winning as many games as these NFC South suck-bags … [Read more...]

Saints vs. Failcons: 9 and 2 Close for Comfort!

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It was a game the Saints should have and needed to win. Not just because of the undeniable playoff implications or the fact that it was an NFC opponent. They needed to win because the Falcons suck and we hate them. In typical Falcons, Saints fashion, Thursday night's game came down to the wire. It was all a matter of who wanted it more and who would f*ck up less. Sorry Falcons, but we were two for two on your home turf last night. It was thanks in large part to the defense, which held the Falcons to a measly 13 points. And it was also thanks to Sean Payton, whose oft times annoying decisions to ice the kicker turned out to be a genius move. Falcons kicker Matt Bryant missed a 52 yard … [Read more...]

A Saints Fan’s Heartfelt Letter to the Falcons

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Dear Dirty Birds, ROFLMAO!!! Now that I've gotten that out of my system, how are you? I hear you've been, um, going through some things. Totes sucks. I remember last year when I was going through some similar woes. You weren't exactly there for me. In fact, I sort of remember you mocking me mercilessly. I can't say I was surprised given our complicated past and the fact that I typically wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire. With that said, I'll admit it was tough having things go so poorly for me while they seemed to be coming up roses for you. Here we are, a year later, and the shoe is on the other foot. (And given the current status of your team, I'm assuming that foot … [Read more...]

Eagles Chick’s Week 3 NFL Picks

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Note to Eagles fans: the Chiefs are not the Redskins or the Chargers. In fact, although it's early on, their defense is looking outstanding and continued to do so last night. It pained me to watch what they did to my Eagles in Andy Reid's epic return, but I can't say I didn't see it coming. Thanks to Reid, the Chiefs are playing smart, disciplined football on either side of the ball (kind of like the Eagles used to do in Andy's early years in Philly). So yeah, the Chiefs won. Big woop. Nothing to see here. And now...the rest of the matchups: Texans at Ravens - Both of these teams are struggling more than I expected them to so far, but I give the edge to the Texans, who are at … [Read more...]